A collection of essays, tips, personal experience, and opinion written from more than a dozen years of experience advising online kinksters. Whether you just discovered online kink, tried unsuccessfully to connect with someone, or want to satisfy your curiosity, you will find useful information about safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online in its pages.

"I.G. Frederick does what few other BDSM writers and practitioners have done, acknowledging that many find their way into kink online. This book offers vital guidance on how to sensibly and safely explore the issues and the landscape - virtually first, and then in the flesh."

Remittance Girl, author of
Gaijin and The Waiting Room

Previously Published Essays You Can Read Online
Privilege Blind
Staying Safe Online
Included in Chapter Seven of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
KOTW: Clothed Female Naked Male (CFNM)
"Feminist" Backlash Against BDSM:
A FemDom defends the
eroticization of male domination
What Some Women Tops and
Bottoms Have in Common
Included in Chapter Four of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
Older Than Her Chronological Age
Also available here
Kink of the Week: Sapiosexuality
Judging a Book by its Cover
Also available here
Avoiding Abuse in the Search for D/s
Included in Chapter Six of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
PayPal Back Pedals:
Excuse Me if I Do Not Celebrate
Dirty Mind vs. Debit Card:
My Anger Inspired Me
Busted Boobies or Titting Around with Cover Art
Also available here
At Her Feet: Powering Your Femdom Relationship
BDSM Labels
Included in Chapter Three of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
Sex in Sin City: The Erotic Author’s
Association Inaugural Conference
Joining the Indie Revolution
Play at your own risk
Included in Chapter Seven of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
Author Platforms
Also available here
Whose story is it anyway?
Also available here
A Novel’s Journey
Also available here
More essays on my Blog