A collection of essays, tips, personal experience, and opinion written from more than a dozen years of experience advising online kinksters. Whether you just discovered online kink, tried unsuccessfully to connect with someone, or want to satisfy your curiosity, you will find useful information about safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online in its pages.

"I.G. Frederick does what few other BDSM writers and practitioners have done, acknowledging that many find their way into kink online. This book offers vital guidance on how to sensibly and safely explore the issues and the landscape - virtually first, and then in the flesh."

Remittance Girl, author of
Gaijin and The Waiting Room

Essays Available Online
Staying Safe Online
Included in Chapter Seven of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
#KoboFail: erotica ≠ romance
and romance ≠ erotica
Medical Inequality
Not a book review:
Racism in America then and now
Banned Books Week:
Why Readers Need to Care About
Ebook Sellers' Arbitrary and Capricious Content Guidelines
Do I pass?
Forced Pregnancy Movement
Coffee Shop as Office
Cacophony of Gossip, Fabrications, Deceptions, etc.
KOTW: Clothed Female Naked Male (CFNM)
Also available here
"Feminist" Backlash Against BDSM:
A FemDom defends the
eroticization of male domination
Also available here
What Some Women Tops and
Bottoms Have in Common
Included in Chapter Four of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
Also available here
Older Than Her Chronological Age
Also available here
Kink of the Week: Sapiosexuality
Stolen Rights: Are you one of
more than a hundred victims?
Judging a Book by its Cover
Also available here
Avoiding Abuse in the Search for D/s
Included in Chapter Six of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
Also available here
PayPal Back Pedals:
Excuse Me if I Don't Celebrate
Dirty Mind vs. Debit Card:
My Anger Inspired Me
Also available here
BDSM Labels
Included in Chapter Three of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
Also available here
Play at your own risk
Included in Chapter Seven of
Connecting to Kink:
Safely exploring your BDSM fantasies online
Law for Corporate Profit
Feminist Pornography
Additional Reasons To Not Forget #amazonfail
Why We Should Not Forget #amazonfail