Welcome! Thanks for stopping by my home on the web. You can read the beginnings of each of my novels (click on the book covers on either side of the page) and download free short excerpts. Use the form at the right to sign up for my mailing list and I'll send you your choice of one of five short stories free.
Currently Patrick is working (when he has time) on improving the backend, so please let him know at webmaster at eroticawriter.net if you run into any problems. You can also contact me at IG at eroticawriter.net
Current News-May 14, 2013Sometimes stories and characters run off in unplanned directions. I started writing Back to School with a specific editor and a specific publication in mind. About halfway through, I recognized the story idea had veered off in a direction that wouldn't fit in this particular collection. So I started another story. Halfway through that one, I recognized the same theme emerging and realized I was working on a new collection which I'm calling Second Chances.
I 'm publishing the first of the stories from this collection today and then I'll return to work on yet another story for the editor that started all this.
An admin error forces Jordan and Dennis to share a dorm room. Older than their classmates, they decide to stick together. But Jordan's past threatens to keep them apart.
"Jordan tried to catch her breath and figure out how to answer his question. If it weren't for the embarrassingly wet panties ..."
May 12, 2013I was honored to learn yesterday that “Aunt” Grace won second place in the National Leather Association: International John Preston Short Story Award for excellence in literary works in SM/leather/fetish writing published in 2012.
NLA-I is a leading organization for activists in the pansexual SM/leather community. The judges for the annual awards "received a greater number of nominations this year than ever before and judging in most categories was quite difficult with such exemplary pieces of writing," according to the NLA-I announcement.
My thanks to Shanna Germain for inspiring me to write the story and to a friend who very generously shared what it's like to be a female student in the Game Art & Design program at The Art Institute of Portland.
In “Aunt” Grace, Jen needed a place to stay in Portland and turned to her father's stepsister. But, she found so much more than she ever dreamed possible with her "Aunt" Grace.
"Grace leaned forward and rested her square chin on her laced fingers. She kept her straight blond hair cut just below her ears and had four studs, in the rainbow colors, in each lobe. The enticing scent of leather wafted across the table. 'There are things about me you don't know.' "
Available at Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, Amazon, and other online retailers.
April 2, 2013
Introducing Korin Dushayl
Like many writers, I work in a variety of genres. Because all the stories I've published as I.G. Frederick have graphic sexual content, I always labeled them erotica.
But, they're not. Especially, Broken, Shattered, and Playing With Dolls.
Three things convinced me it was worth the work required to create a new pen name differentiating my mainstream/transgressive stories from my erotica.
1) I had a story accepted by an editor which involves rape. Not play rape, brutal vicious rape. Could it turn some readers on? Possibly. But, that's not its purpose. Since the story was acquired by a publisher, I had no intention of promoting it. I didn't want it associated with I.G. Frederick, even though I think it's a very good story.
2) TAS reviewed Broken and Shattered on Amazon and wrote: "It may be unfair to judge I.G. Frederick's "Shattered" and "Broken" as works of erotica even though both books are expressly marketed as such. I think these titles might more accurately be categorized as mainstream literary fiction with graphic descriptions of ritual domination and submission, and some explicit erotic content. But sex is not the real focus of these stories, and the sooner that is made clear up front, the better. The casual consumer of erotica brings a set of visceral expectations to any story, and has little patience for "meta-" anything. Needless to say, these books are not for that kind of reader."
3) My current work in progress is an erotic tragedy. Most readers who purchase erotica expect a happy-ever-after, or at the very least a happy-for-now ending. Although a compelling story, Choices won't appeal to readers seeking a formulaic ending.
So, Korin I. Dushayl, Transgressive Writer was born. Broken, Shattered, and Playing With Dolls have been republished under her name. As part of that, the covers have been spiffed up a bit and the formatting has been improved to provide better reading experiences.
I don't intend to establish a separate social media presence for Korin Dushayl. I don't promote my books excessively via SM anyway. News of her new work will appear here and on Livejournal and, of course, on the Transgressive Writer website. Check it out and let me know if there's anything else you'd like to see there (or here).
February 26, 2013As I've mentioned in the past, ideas for so much of what I write start with the question "What if ...?" I'm working on a collection of stories, Family Dynamics, about the different ways leather families are structured. I covered the Dominant-female-with-two-male-slaves blend in Dommemoir so I saw no reason to tackle that one again.
I thought about doing a story about the common one-male-and-two=bisexual-females combination. Often, although not always, both females are submissive to the male. But, the prevalence of that unit makes it terribly unappealing. I'm interested in unusual not ordinary. From that, one "What if?" lead to another, giving birth to "Searching."
Two dominants love each other, but need someone who submits to them both. Just how far will young Jesse go to serve the lovely Lady Theresa?
Jesse bolted upright, eyes wide, lips parted, breathing ragged. "Really? But, you're married."
Theresa laughed. "That doesn't mean I'm monogamous."
"Searching," also available on Amazon.
February 12, 2013Since I rarely submit to traditional publishers these days, I find it amusing that two publications both intrigued me enough to submit and appeared in the virtual bookstores in the same months.
A year ago, Joan Price and Susana Mayer enticed me to send them some of my work. Both required a bit of consideration on my part -- Joan, because she insisted that everyone who contributed to what's now entitled Ageless Erotica admit to living at least fifty years and Susana, because what's become SenSexual: A Unique Anthology 2013 - Vol 1 & 2 offered contributors no compensation.
However, like Joan, I believe that older people should still have opportunities to explore their sexuality and Susana published SenSexual to support the Erotic Literary Salon which provides a supportive and non-judgmental arena for sharing erotica, sex-positive news, and discussions on various related topics. I enjoyed participating in the Las Vegas edition of the Salon as part of Sex in Sin City.
In the last couple of days, I received notification that you can now purchase both collections.
Ageless Erotica, a steamy anthology of erotic stories and memoir essays written for a mature audience by writers over the age of 50, includes my story "Lady Bella" as well as work by writers I know well (including D.L. King and Kate Dominic whom I also met at Sex in Sin City), some I only know by reputation, and names that are new to me.
Edited by senior sex expert and advocate Joan Price, this collection is full of erotica seniors can relate to -- embracing the agelessness of sexuality while still encompassing the changes that accompany aging. Some selections are tender and loving, while others are edgy and kinky. But whether characters are going solo, having spicy sex with partners they love and have loved for decades, or engaging in casual encounters, every story included in these pages aims to arouse and to rejoice in the sensual side of aging.
SenSexual: A Unique Anthology 2013 Vol 1 includes three of my poems from Pain of Love. It's an eclectic collection of fiction, poetry, personal stories, and essays ranging from a nonagenarian's first erotica piece to eye-opening personal experiences to Hindu philosophy about sexuality and everything in between. Again, I find many of the authors are people I've known for years and the list of contributors includes everyone from first-time published writers to those who make their living creating erotica.
January 16, 2013I'm not usually one for blog chains or tours, but Cecilia Tan invited me to join an intriguing "excursion."
Called "The Next Big Thing," each participating writer answers ten questions about their current project, and then asks authors they know to answer the same ten questions. It's been going around a bit, so many of the writers I asked had already been "tagged" to participate.
It's an interesting tour for readers to follow because of the variety of projects underway and the interrelationships of all the authors involved. It certainly offers an opportunity to entice readers into checking out writers they may not have encountered before by learning about their "Next Big Thing."
My Next Big Thing1) What is the working title of your book? Choices
2) Where did the idea for the book come from? To be honest, I don't remember. I was perusing the folder where I record all my ideas for stories and novels, trying to decide which would become my next project. I stumbled across a complete synopsis I had written of a book that just grabbed me and said, "Write ME now."
3) What genre does it fall under? Erotic Tragedy
4) Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
(shaved and without
5) What is the one sentence synopsis of your book? A tragic tale of poly love struggling to survive in a monogomous world.
6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency? I will publish it myself.
7) How long did it take you to write the first draft? Sixteen days.
8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre? I've never read anything like it and I'm not sure that Erotic Tragedy exists (yet) as a genre so I can't really say.
9) Who or what inspired you to write this book? Part of why this book appealed to me now is the constant stream of news stories in which cheating devastates lives, destroying marriages, shattering children's trust and family structure, ruining careers, etc. All this chaos is a result of the insistence that only a church-dictated (not Biblical, as that definitely supports polygamy) relationship structure is acceptable.
10) What else about your book might pique the reader's interest? From fairy tales to modern legal tradition, society demands we love exclusively, even though many only find happiness with multiple partners. Linda finally confronts her sexual needs when she meets Phil In Chicago. But back in Portland, her husband's insistence on monogamy forces her to choose between his limitations and her own fulfillment.
If you're just joining "The Next Big Thing" tour, you can link to some previous posts via Cecilia Tan who was tagged by Jason Rubis who had been tagged by M. Christian .
Follow the tour forward by checking out:
Ashley R Lister
January 3, 2013Happy New Year. For my first short story of 2013, I offer you Leather Family.
Leather Family's inspiration sprang from a conversation which included mention of a gay Master owning a woman. I've forgotten the rest of the discussion, but that one concept intrigued me. What if a leather family expanded to include members not sexually compatible with the Master of the House?
Kyle wants his own boy and Jacques desperately yearns for a place in a Leather Family. But, how does a gay man earn a position in a FemDom's home?
The story was first published in September of 2011 as "Family" in Xcite Books Her First Submission and other stories and is still available in that collection, so I've retained the British spellings.
"With two handsome naked boys in front of her and the view of Lisbet's bare arse still red from the paddling she had enjoyed earlier, Monica shook with orgasm. She refrained from crying out, instead gripping the arms of the chair as the spasms travelled from Lisbet's tongue through Monica's entire body."
December 6, 2012As is the case with many of my stories, “Aunt” Grace was inspired by a true story. In real life, the student looking for a place to live was a male and nothing romantic every developed. But, my mind always wonders "what if?"
Jen needed a place to stay in Portland while she studied game design. She turned to her father's stepsister, but what she ended up with was so much more than she ever could have expected or desired. -- Sometimes the best aunt isn't a relative.
"Grace leaned forward and rested her square chin on her laced fingers. She kept her straight blond hair cut just below her ears and had four studs, in the rainbow colors, in each lobe. The enticing scent of leather wafted across the table. 'There are things about me you don't know.' "
November 8, 2012Kindlegraph is now Authorgraph
When I joined what was then the Kindlegraph service, I had two concerns: you could only sign in with a Twitter account and it only accepted books listed for sale on Amazon.
Both of those limitations have been eliminated in Authorgraph. Now you can request a digital autograph from any e-book, regardless of what device you use or where the book is offered for sale.
October 31, 2012How do you know When Two's Not Enough? Sometimes circumstances make it impossible to stop with just one partner. Besides, adding a little variety to the mix can enhance long-term relationships or just fill in the gaps between them.
If you enjoy reading about ménage, please savor these seven sexy stories. At $6.49, the collection is less than half the cost of the stories purchased individually.
October 17, 2012Today, the seventh story in When Two's Not Enough is available on Smashwords.
"Tribal Fusion" was inspired by Frank, a talented, handsome young belly dancer I met in Las Vegas when I attended Sex in Sin City last year. A belly dance intensive was being held in the same facility and Frank and I struck up a conversation outside the vending area.
He is one of those fascinating, charismatic people I can't resist making up stories about. Although "Tribal Fusion" is complete fiction, I tried to capture Frank's spirit and vivaciousness.
October 2, 2012A few weeks ago, I was contacted by a bright, young American who is studying for her PhD at Cambridge University in England. Apparently, one of her friends is familiar with my work and gave her my e-mail address.
She interviewed me via Skype for an article on self publishing she was writing for the Cambridge Varsity newspaper. I was quoted extensively in the well-written article: "Stop the press: the rise of self-publishing" and the cover of Night to Remember was used as one of the illustrations.
I love the subhead -- "I'm sorry, but your publishing company does not meet our needs at the present time" -- which captures the tone of the article.
September 26, 2012Many of my stories are inspired by the simple phrase: "What if...." This was one. An encounter that had no meaning to either of the participants sparked an idea:
When you don't realize you've found the right one, you might need a Change in View.
Rachel agreed to mentor Luke in his pursuit of the perfect Mistress. Their relationship remained platonic until he saw her dressed up to attend a charity event. (Approximately 6,100 words. Contains graphic sex including D/s.)
"Dominants can require their submissives to parade around however they please -- naked, dressed in lingerie and heels, wearing a French maid's uniform. But, submissives must adore their dominants however they chooses to present themselves -- whether that's stained boxers and unshaven cheeks or comfortable, baggy clothing with no makeup and mussed hair."
September 21, 2012Yesterday, I returned to Jesse V. Coffey's Edin Road Radio to continue our spring discussion about BDSM and gender/sexuality issue. I shared another excerpt from Playing With Dolls (you can click on the link or listen below).
I also shared one of my poems from Pain of Love on The SpeakEasy Café online open-mic radio show, "The Sound of Ink." (You can click on the link or listen below.) My segment is about 49 minutes in.
September 6, 2012I first released Pain of Love as a part of the promotions surrounding the launch of Dommemoir in 2009. It was a limited edition release -- only available on this website and at my personal appearances.
Produced before I went indie and had the resources to create a quality book on my own, it was saddle stitched instead of perfect bound, the cover was white to avoid bleed issues, etc.
Now, three years later, times have changed a bit. I've designed a new, sexy cover and added illustrations to the print book. I also have made the book available for the first time as an e-book (without illustrations) on sale at OC Press.
Many of the poems in the book were originally purchased by Justus Roux and published on her website Justus Roux's Erotic Tales. Currently, you can find "The Drummer" on Oysters & Chocolate and "Artwork," the only G-rated poem in the book, on my website.
August 23, 2012Many people identify clearly as a dominant or a submissive. But, then there are those, such as the handsome young man in Festival of Eros, whose orientation is determined more by who they're with.
Festival of Eros: The gorgeous, leather-clad man had followed Sylvie around all evening, behaving like the perfect submissive. Then, she learned who he was.
August 15, 2012One of the ways to connect with authors outside their books is to ask for autographs. Some readers collect as many autographs as they can and some only ask for their favorite authors to sign their favorite books.
Just because a reader enjoys an author's work electronically, shouldn't eliminate that experience. Obviously, I'm not going to take a pen and sign your e-reader. But I have made several of my books available for autographs on http://www.kindlegraph.com..
If you'd like a book autographed, simply "Request a Kindlegraph" and let me know to whom you'd like me to autograph it. There's no cost unless Amazon charges you a delivery fee.
The service has two major limitations. First, you apparently can only sign in with a Twitter account, so if you're not on Twitter, you have no way to get a Kindlegraph. Second, it only accepts books that are listed for sale on Amazon, which many of my short stories are not.
You do not, however, have to own a Kindle. You can download a free Kindle reader app for just about any device from Amazon. (Which also allows you to download free books for Kindle.) Nor do you have to read your books on Kindle to collect Kindlegraphs.
If you use another service to collect autographs, and they don't discriminate against erotica, please let me know and I'll try to get books listed.
July 18, 2012Many writers remember they started writing because they read something that made them say, "I can do better than that." I've been writing since long before I could make that statement, so it doesn't apply to me. But, when I run across a story that disappoints ...
In this case, the story was a perfectly good one. But, Chekhov's gun never got fired -- the Cougar picked only one from the collection of college boys she was offered when the set up screamed for a ménage.
So, I wrote a different story. One in which the Cougar didn't choose. "The Cougar and the College Boys" falls into several categories, so I've added it to two of my collections. You can buy it at Smashwords as a stand alone or you can find it in Cougar Conquests and When Two's Not Enough.
The Cougar and the College Boys: Alone in the woods hours from Portland, Tess discovers four college roommates are staying in a nearby cabin. They invite her to share their campfire, but then the heat overwhelms them all.
"She pulled her finger out with a pop and ran her tongue across first her top and then her bottom lip. Their breathing got heavier. She lowered her eyes to scan for bulges and was not disappointed. 'I hope you don't think I'm presumptuous, Tess,' James voice had sunk a full octave. 'But, could you let us know who you've picked? You're driving us all crazy.' "
July 12, 2012When I first published the Eleanor & Mick collection back in October, I acquired four covers: three for the individual short stories written, one for the collection. As I noted then, the characters decided that more stories needed to be told before I published the collection. I found a cover for "Paid in Full," but there didn't seem to be a suitable cover for "Renovations."
Since these covers were all photos of two models who looked like the characters, it wouldn't have been appropriate to just slap something else on the cover of one of the stories. At the time I only made "Renovations" available as part of the complete collection. Recently, I stumbled over a photo of just "Mick," which was perfect for "Renovations." That story -- after Mick spent a month renovating her garage, Eleanor discovers he's built in a few surprises -- is now available as a stand alone at Smashwords.
Speaking of covers, today I discuss how a good cover design can impact book sales over on K D Grace's Hopeful Romantic blog.
And, speaking of Smashwords, July is the Summer/Winter sale there and you'll find all my books (available in a variety of formats, including Kindle) are all at least 25 percent off.
July 2, 2012I had planned on publishing this story last week. But then another adventure erupted and insisted it must become part of the current collection. More on that when it's released July 18.
It's summer, and an abundance of wonderful fresh produce is available at Farmer's Markets everywhere. Markets also provide a bounty of people watching opportunities. If you're a writer, you wonder about their stories.
In this week's tale, "Market Boy," Jack spots a beautiful Domme at the Farmer's Market where he helps out on the weekend. He offers to serve her, and she enlists him to assist her submissive at a party for a few of her friends. Jack responds too quickly and too eagerly, resulting in more than he had bargained for.
"If you're the boy who accosted me at the market Sunday morning, I've read your profile and I might have a use for you. I'm having some Ladies over next Saturday night and my boy could use some help with prep and serving. How early would you be available? Unless you indicate otherwise, I will assume that you won't object to anything on your fetish list, so I recommend editing it before you respond."
June 20, 2012Today's short story, "Nikki's Birthday," was inspired by a real birthday present given to a lovely little bi-sexual, gender queer slave a few years back. After all, even someone who's happy in a monogamous relationship might find the gift of a hot, new toy for an evening of decadence incredibly exciting. Of course, if you gave someone such a lovely present, wouldn't you want to join in on the fun?
"I turned and found a friend who I hadn't seen in several weeks standing there with a huge grin on his face. 'Liam!' I said with delight and gave him a big hug. Liam is one of Mistress' play partners so I'd seen him naked often enough at parties. I do admit I have the hots for him, but Mistress doesn't permit me to have sex with anyone but her. Still, I was delighted just to have someone my own age to play golf with."
June 6, 2012Today's short story, "Jail Bait," was written for a publication that had purchased many of my pieces. Unfortunately, I discovered after I submitted that they were no longer purchasing short fiction.
This has become a rather common occurrence. Print magazines are having difficulty competing against the volume of information and entertainment available online. On the other hand, although they paid well, that market had a limited audience. Publishing the story myself allows many more readers to enjoy it.
Serena wants Joshua to pop her cherry, but Joshua won't touch her because she's under age. When her birthday finally makes it legal, he arranges for a very special celebration.
"Joshua kept looking at his watch while they sipped their drinks. Finally he grinned, his white teeth glistening in the firelight. He set his cup on the cooler, knelt in front of her, and ran his hands up her calves, until they reached her skirt which he edged above her knees. "It's midnight. Happy birthday, Babe." He kissed the insides of first one thigh and then the other just below her skirt. Serena gasped."
May 23, 2012Today I published the first short story in a new collection, When Two's Not Enough. You can purchase the story, "Honeymoon," for $2.99 or wait until the entire five-story collection (which will include two, never-before-published stories) is available in July. (If you can't wait until July, send me an e-mail, we'll work something out. ;-)
One reader called Honeymoon "a steamy and fun read. The premise is a clever and insightful twist about what's sexy." The story, first published by Ravenous Romance, was inspired by the Mallory Todd.
May 4, 2012Sometimes I get so busy juggling all the balls I have in the air, I forget to take a breath and share some of what's happening here. I'm a little better about posting news on Facebook, Twitter, and Google, so if you're not subscribing, following, or circling me there, please do.
Two "appearances" of interest from the past few weeks:
Monday, April 30, my guest blog post on Avoiding Abuse in the Search for D/s appeared on BDSM Book Reviews.
Also last month, I appeared on Oregon Public Radio's Public Insight Network. I answered the question of what I would do if I was mayor. It aired on April 26 and a photograph Patrick took of a street in our neighborhood appeared on the blog post.
April 9, 2012To celebrate the release of Playing With Dolls in print, I've published a free short story excerpt, "A Night to Remember." Jesse, 18, is effeminate and more comfortable wearing women's clothes than men's. Of course, this means he must be gay. He's had a few sexual experience with other boys and hated them. A Lesbian couple befriends him and they enjoy dressing him up and showing him off. One night, they take him downtown for an experience he'll never forget. You can download the story in pdf, epub, or mobi from my website, or find those and other formats at Smashwords.
April 6, 2012Yesterday, I had a lovely discussion about BDSM and gender issues with Jesse V. Coffey on Edin Road Radio. I also shared an excerpt from Playing With Dolls (you can click on the link or listen below).
Playing With Dolls is now available in print as well as in ebook (you can purchase ePub, PDF, and mobi at OC Press).
March 22, 2012Adding to all the grief related to the PayPal bullying (which has not ended), I have had to change links in books and on websites (mine and others) to another retailer which decided it no longer will accept work by indie authors. (They gave logistical issues that had nothing to do with payment as a reason, so I won't call them out.)
I hate only pointing to Amazon, both because it's also a corporate bully (the above link discusses that as well) and because it only offers books in one format. I also don't like pointing to Smashwords for my novels. Even though I earn more money per book sale, the reader experience isn't as nice because the efforts I put into design are lost in the meat grinder.
So, I was delighted to find a very welcome retail environment on OC Press. I was not unfamiliar with this publisher, Oysters & Chocolate bought one of my poems, The Drummer, back in '10. All four of my novels are now available for sale there in pdf, mobi, and epub format. The staff was very easy to work with and very enthusiastic about carrying my work. They even have a category specifically for Banned Erotica. Check them out.
March 15, 2012My fourth novel, Playing With Dolls, is now for sale as an ebook at Amazon (Kindle only) and OC Press (ePub, PDF, and mobi). It will be available at various other online outlets and print in the next few weeks, but if you don't want to wait, you can start reading it now from either of those stores.
Playing with Dolls was inspired when I read a letter to an advice columnist in which the writer complained that her friend was going to marry an "obviously" gay man -- obvious, according to her, because he was effeminate. I wrote a letter to that columnist which refuted those concerns based on the possibility that the couple in question might have a FemDom/sissy boy relationship. Of course, my letter was ignored, because everyone knows all effeminate males are gay.
I know lots of effeminate males. Ninety percent are straight and most of the other 10 percent are bisexual. I also know many Gay males. Most of them are about as macho as a guy can be. You're not likely to find a more butch male than a Gay leatherman. Unlike macho straight guys, Gay leathermen have absolutely no exposure to anything female in their personal lives. But our society insists on equating "feminine male" with "gay."
Jesse enjoyed playing with dolls and wearing girls' clothing as a child. His liberal father, resigned to having a gay son, encourages Jesse's involvement in the LGBT youth culture of Eugene, Oregon where they live. On his eighteenth birthday, Jesse has his first sexual experience and hates it. A few months later, he is befriended by a Lesbian couple who introduces him to S&M. When they move away, he flounders, pretending to be a woman to get a job. Although Tony, a handsome leatherman, rescues him, Jesse finds the price too high for his liking. Then Tony takes his boys to Paradise and Jesse learns things about himself that he finds very difficult to accept.
March 14, 2012So much has been written about PayPal, why write more? Because the bullying didn't start last month and I doubt it has ended, despite the apparent PayPal capitulation. I detailed a recent history of some PayPal transgressions and make a case for finding an alternative in PayPal Back Pedals: Excuse Me if I Don’t Celebrate on 4-Letter Words.
March 9, 2012Yesterday, as part of Eden Connor's "Dirty Mind vs. Debit Card" series, I discussed the stories behind my stories that have been banned and how my books that are so "offensive" were inspired by real life abuse.
Today, I received word that Broken and Shattered have been reviewed and re-activated by All Romance ebooks and are now available there for sale (although you have to be logged in to see them, unlike romance books such as Dommemoir).
While this is good news, it doesn't change what I wrote for yesterday's post on "Dirty Mind vs. Debit Card." They were re-activated because, although the consent is questionable, there is consent.
Now, I ask, which is more psychologically traumatic -- rape by a stranger or a trusted adviser/teacher/therapist taking advantage of someone's vulnerability to use them sexually? In the first case, the victim knows they've been violated. In the second case they often don't.
While I'm pleased that Broken and Shattered are again available for sale, I question the differentiation. I don't believe non-consensual sex should be banned from written works. I'm disturbed that a ban on non-consensual sex accepts dubious consent.